‘You can be someone who is resilient, optimistic and kind while being    realistic in the present world.’

Last Wednesday I offered a look at Resilience and today I recommend Optimism. Unlike the pessimist who can only see the negative, dwells in the difficulty of a situation and expects the worst possible outcome, the Optimist is not a victim and ascribes to the possibility of a better outcome.

A true optimist deals with reality. Sidestepping the facts, avoiding the lived-felt experience or ignoring the challenges means that you are engaging in escapism, lacking responsibility. It is not optimism to say ‘Oh, everything will be fine. I am just going to think positively.’ That is avoidance. Inevitably you will come face to face with reality and you might as well be prepared rather than broadsided.

I write about the difference between Positive Thinking and Positive Being in the Personal Magic book.

I think real positive thinking is truly seeing what is, with clear vision, from an emotionally nonattached place. This requires courage and an open mind. And what is an open mind? It is being open to anything, working with what is, regardless of what you fear or want it to be.

Positive means being in tune with the universe, aware of and open to something that is greater than the ego, inviting in the Spirit and then truly listening to it. It is not a fighting, demanding or fearful energy. That takes from you, is a negative.

Conversely it is not negative to recognize and engage with the events, circumstances and feelings that may ‘feel negative’. In the experiences of loss, fear, sadness and challenge we actually have enormous opportunity to grow. Thus, these are ultimately a vital aspect to Positive Being – in that you are willing and able to recognize this in your life.

Being in a positive state often means experiencing some discomfort. It is not simple or simplistic but does require a lightness of touch, a joy and a delight and love. It is a way of being in the world, that accesses something greater than just how you are treated, what you have lost or are working on getting.

A true optimist does not allow the reality to overwhelm their sense of possibility, because they are able to assume responsibility for their actions and know the potential of their personal empowerment. When you are open to discovering and then nurturing that powerful being, when your Personal Magic shines for yourself and others, you can be both realistic and optimistic.

Exercise POSITIVE BEING

Select something about which you tell your self ‘Think Positive.’

Now, be positive with all the information there is about that event, physical position, whatever, without emotional attachment to outcome.

Jot down the information in any kind of form on the page.

Consider all the possible outcomes, different points of view, and allow them to be what they are – possible, different.  

Make a list of actions you can/will truly take, now.

Make another list of what you cannot change or do right now.

Then sit with what is. See the truth without the emotional baggage. See the present state and accept that picture without undue hope, criticism or fear or anxiety. It just is.

(If you start to feel anxious, take a minute or two and breathe, consciously in and out. Feel the air move from the top of your head, down through the center of your being to  the bottoms of your feet and out to the earth. You will feel grounded and clear.)

Now that is Positive Being. Nothing is hidden, and nothing is pulling at you, and nothing is there that can make you feel inadequate.

When you are in a state of Positive Being then you are almost by accident an optimist.From this powerful state of connectedness to all the possibilities, your Personal Magic, take a moment to look ahead into your year with real Optimism. I’d love to hear about your view and how this worked for you. Share your story in the comments below.

The next post will address Kindness. Click on the Follow button to make sure you get it!

Additionally, here in the USA we are currently assaulted with the nonstop lunacy of political campaigning and the promise of it lasting through almost the end of the year. It is easy to get depressed, irritated and feel hopeless resorting to either belligerence or escapism as a means to try and cope.

The very first line of my book Personal Magic in the Prelude is:
‘You can be someone who is resilient, optimistic and kind while being realistic in the present world.’

These are big words and require some thought as it applies to you and your situation. What exactly does it mean? In this blog and the next two I will explore each of these words. Today let’s look at Resilience.

In the final chapter of Personal Magic I write this:

Resilience can be (simply) understood as the capacity to overcome fear, helplessness and anxiety in the face of  great difficulty and challenge, without resorting to violence, escapism or victim-hood. Studies of people who do well, rather than those who do not, have revealed common attributes of well-ness.

One of these is resilience, a normal human quality, not a rare thing for some. It can be learned. The opportunities and skills developed through living in community assist greatly in evolving resilience. A personal relationship/experience of Spirituality also seems to be related to levels of resilience. 

So the good news is that it is not the prerogative of a few. When you are able to face the reality of your situation and stay engaged in life, you begin to practice resilience. How do we get there?

Resist the urge to self isolate, seek out community, engage in learning life skills, exercise and include artistic endeavor in your daily routine. For many people facing incredible personal health challenges and social difficulty, writing, art, music and dance have formed the bridge between helplessness and hopefulness. That is the difference between believing there is no point and realistic optimism.

Further in this chapter I write:

Likewise, as medical practice has begun to reconnect the body-spirit again, the link between resilience and the individuals’ interaction with their environment became clearer and clearer.

Resilience appears to related to the ability to connect with others and to deal with the present as it is, while taking responsibility for oneself and those immediately in your circle. Ultimately the resilient person has a strong personal Self.

As you advance into the year, pay attention to your skills of resilience and include on a regular basis the activities that will nurture and develop that most powerful aspect of your Personal Magic.

Resilience Exercise from the Personal Magic Book:

Using your own experience, explore the word and the meaning of ‘Resilience’ as it applies to you.

Create an art piece of it. It may be a one-dimensional drawing or an actual 3-D piece.

Imagine Resilience as a mobile or chimes that sway in the wind, all the swinging strands remaining free and clear of each other, creating a beautiful sound.

Perhaps words dangle, what is the cross bar made of?

And what is the music it sings? Make a cd to go with this image.

I’d love to hear about your exploration and experience of Resilience. Leave us a comment!

The next post in this series will bring us Optimism! Click on Follow if you are not already subscribed to be sure you get it.

I also encourage you to read the book by Anne Deveson, ‘Resilience’. (Allen & Unwyn Australia, 2003)

A daily ‘quiet connect time’, even when as short a time as this takes, really warms up your Personal Magic. Here is what I have been doing.

I leave in the barely opening dark to feed the horses, returning about 30 minute later. Collecting a glass of water I walk out to the side garden and stand the with cactus, mesquite and rose bushes, my feet (even in their shoes) firmly and consciously on the earth. My face is turned toward where the sun is finding its way through the parting darkness. (This was a challenge on the Oregon coast where I often had to imagine the path of the sun through fog and rain.)

This time of day, before any food or liquid enters my body, when I connect with myself through the earth, air, sun and water has become a ritual that anchors and lifts me into the activities to come.

It goes like this.
• First, lift the glass of water toward the sun, ideally in a direct shaft of light, and focus attention on the four basic elements that make up life. Feel through the solid earth below you to the depth beneath; note the touch of early morning air cold on your face with the warmth of the sun brushing over it, and really look at the water clear in the glass. Give thanks for all that surrounds you and these four elements.

• Next, still holding the glass up in the light, acknowledge where you need assistance, place your Attention on Intention. Try and be specific. You may also simply ask for help and leave it at that.

• Now move your awareness to friends and family and even those outside your immediate world, whom you know need assistance. Ask Spirit/Creator/God (however you name it) to bring empowerment to those people in the way that best helps.

• Lastly, pour some of the water into the earth (or if inside onto a potted plant), offering power back to the earth.Then drink some of the water, with thanks and intention clearly in your mind. Pour the rest of the water to the earth (or plant) with those others in mind.

In the summer, the cold of the morning before the heat increases is a promise that things renew. In the winter, this morning sun is a reminder that the warmth is coming. I love to be still and totally in the present standing there. It feels like camping, when you are exposed to the natural air without the filter of indoors. It feels huge, as if all is possible. I am in the space between the resonance of past mornings and the promise of those to come.

On these cold mornings I am grateful to head back inside, hold the hot coffee mug in my hands and stand in front of the wood fire. However, that ‘connect’ I bring in with me from the Morning Water Ritual will sustain me through the day regardless of challenges and darkness. My Personal Magic is percolating steadily and underlies whatever the next 24 hours brings me.

In the Personal Magic book I address the value of daily warm-ups for good health and nurturing your Personal Magic. I write:

The trio that serves your needs (body-mind-spirit) responds well to a daily workout or at least regular recognition. Like athletes or old friends, they are then more able to be there when you really need them! The following is a sampling of some simple ways to stay in touch with the trio. You will add your own as you go through these and as you further uncover what it is that YOU need.

 Daily Rituals

Morning

Begin with acknowledging you are awake and alive, even if you feel rotten or have a really hard day ahead. That moment that you first come to consciousness can set the tone for what is ahead.

Greet the day – consciously and with attention to the sun, sky, air and where you are standing/seated.

Stretch and breathe – honor your Body.

 During the day
Drink lottsa real water.

Evening
Stretch and breathe – honor your Body.

Oils – lavender in the room.

These and others can be found in the Personal Magic book and I encourage you to find and develop your own Personal Magic warm-ups. I invite you to post one of your favorites here and we can all  add them to our Personal Magic tool kit.

Regardless of the spiritual, historical, cultural, ‘woo-woo’, that you may or may not be aware of around this new year, surely the waves of change are rolling. Worldwide efforts to expedite, promote, instigate change are felt from the ‘Arab Spring’, through Occupy Wall Street and even in Russia. The Euro crisis, small victories for the individual in China, continued resistance in Burma (Myanmar), Tibet and other places where traditional authority is challenged and asked to in some way justify itself, indicate a shift of power.

There is no doubt that the struggles of those who are being challenged, who can’t accept change, will increase as their hold is further threatened. Some, like the leaders in Bahrain, will become more vicious and less tolerant. Others will work out compromises and try new means by which to meet the demands of those less powerful than themselves. Some may even vanish altogether, like the Gaddafi regime.

No matter the outcome or your immediate involvement in the struggles, overall there is a good reason for you, for each of us, to find our personal power, and use it with responsibility. Some places will call to continue the struggle, others will focus on healing, some will offer a peaceful place to restore and find balance.

As you find your place in this shifting world and work, play, engage with life’s ups and downs, you will want to be as empowered as possible. Empowerment can be a tricky concept. It is not grabbing all that you can and telling everyone else what to do. It is doing the work you are meant to do, owning your place in life. I write in the Personal Magic book:

“To be empowered, very simply you need to find ways by which you can authorize yourself to know your own story, sanction your personal truth, entrust that to those to whom  you choose give it, and thus ratify the magic that is yours. Not simple enough? Empowerment is when you embrace and own your magic, through the courage, freedom and joy found in the personal story. That magic is the energy/power that we all carry in our Being – the capacity to see, be and do.”

This year, accept the responsibility to really get to know yourself and tell your story. It takes some commitment, often a burst of courage and a certain amount of discipline. However the absolute experience of Joy, a felt experience of being in the right place at the right time, will emerge along with that journey. Again from the book:

“… it is a neat little paradox that the Empowerment that comes with being in Joy entails a certain Responsibility as well. Just as the journey to Joy requires Discipline, so when you have that Empowerment, it will only remain if you behave with Responsibility. It takes Discipline and Responsibility to grow your Empowerment, (and thus open you to your Joy,) and that will stay with you only if you behave Responsibly. A circle, a spiral, but not a straight line to nowhere.”

Cultivate hope and resilience, build skills of discipline and responsibility, practice kindness and compassion. When you get to know yourself, really deeply – your Personal Magic, the unique strength and Empowerment that is YOU – you will feel Joy. Your Personal Magic is needed today and tomorrow and next week. Begin now, spend some quality time with yourself!

How do you plan to spend Quality time with yourself this year? Leave a comment and let us know.

What a fabulous way to begin 2012!! I have the honor of passing on the Liebster Award. I was delighted and surprised to receive it from Carol LeFevre (Tips For Empowerment) back on Dec 23rd, 2011. Now, after all the rushing about and what-have-you that is the end of the year, I have been able to spend a glorious hour or so rambling around some of my favorite blogs and selected the requisite five choices listed below. As if that wasn’t hard enough, of these I had to choose one!

There are so many wonderful thinkers, dreamers, writers, healers, and creators out there, all fully engaging in their Personal Magic, how to choose? I finally simply went with the one that I have been reading the longest. When I first joined WordPress I found a namesake, Kate, aka Grateful Kate. Everyday since, she has sent  an image, a few sentences, delight and gratitude my way.

Many of us (me too) are wordy and while that is not necessarily bad, I admire Grateful Kate  so much for her joy, pithiness and her absolute regularity. Welcome her to your inbox, you’ll be amply and easily rewarded.

The Award; The Liebster Blog Award is given to up coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers.

The Meaning; Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kindly, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

The rules for the Liebster Blog Award are:
1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.
2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you.
3. Copy & paste the blog award on your blog
4. Reveal your 5 blog picks.
5. Let them know you choose them by leaving a comment on their blog.

So below are the total five wonderful bloggers I selected for this list. There are many more and I find more and more each day. The good that goes out into the world is worth connecting to, and only serves to expand all of us.

http://gratefulkate.wordpress.com
Kate, and her dog Sally, share pithy, fun, kind and beautiful thoughts and photographs.

http://collectingyourself.wordpress.com/
Rae is and offers an explosion of creative energy and building of community! Check it out and see which of her community endeavors you may join!

http://jbournesblog.wordpress.com/
Jason is another generous, sharing writer who both brings his personal journey to the table as well as offering a venue to others.

http://bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com/
Leigh is a writer who shares her story and insights with honesty and a unique take on everyday things  as well as a good dose of humor and great images.

http://pointsthruprose.com/
Jackie is the most recent queen of communal creativity that I have been lucky enough to meet – easy to read, beautiful to look at, and a wide variety of points of view and wisdom wrapped in the creative endeavor.

I am grateful for the opportunity to send these introductions out there, and know that I will meet others along the way. These writers both manifest and share their Personal Magic and in doing so inspire others to the same. Happy New Year Everyone!

Staying in touch with yourself includes both looking back in honor of choices made, failures, successes and simply what it was to live the last year, as well as visioning into your New Year.

I don’t make New Year resolutions. They seem to be fraught with a great deal of judgment, way too much possibility for failure and are often based on outside ideas of what a resolution should be!

I also don’t feel dizzily relieved that the new year has arrived and Oh thank goodness I can rush into it and get out of the old.

When my daughter was young we had a candle lighting ritual, which I sort of still do but it is much quieter with only myself rather than with 3 or 4 little-middle school girls. About 10 minutes before midnight we ‘d light as many candles as we could muster – (a few years we even had candle making parties in advance!) – and place them all on a small table, light them, turn off the electric lights, and then stand hand in hand in a circle around the glow. Each of us would quietly recall the past year and the dreams for the future.

Then we’d blow them out, have a beat or two in the dark, then the 2nd New Year Celebration would ensue with age appropriate kafuffle!!

I also started the New Year Box with my daughter when she was about 3. Ideally we did it the last day of the year or the very first of the new. Now it seems to be any time in the first week after the 1st. But as I am in this Time-Between week going into 2012 I am going to be diligent about sitting quietly with the box and the writing piece within the magic passage of ‘limbo time’.

(See below this post for the details of the New Year Box if you wish to incorporate it into your rituals and self-empowerment care.)

I love the New Year Box. It holds the stories and gifts of the past year, the dreams and wisdom brought forward to the future. After you have made the deposit, close it and put it carefully away. It doesn’t come out again until next year.

How does this help your Personal Magic? It gives you a place that is private, arises from contemplative time, lays out a wise and calm story in which you are the hero/ine. Over time you will build a relationship and awareness of and through your deeper wiser Self. You will see yourself like the earth that lays down the layers of herself with the leaves, water and soil, creating a rich tapestry and depth that can be tilled and revisited year after year. Each visit feeds the new growth to come.

Embrace your Personal Magic, from both the perspective of where you have come and the vision into where you are headed. Wrap up the present of the past, lay out your intention and then, remarkably, let go of outcome. 2012 will become the new present and you will be perfectly placed to make the most of it with all the joys, challenges, delights and surprises.

I wish you a healthy, balanced 2012, with growth, rest, curiosity, and wonder in rich diversity. May your Personal Magic shine its light on all whom you meet, and open you to your great power and joy in the world.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

CREATING THE NEW YEAR BOX

1. Look over the appointment books, journals, letters written and saved, received – any way that you have in somehow documented your year.

Simple read it as if exploring a wonderful old trunk of treasure. No judgments, or should haves. It just is.

2. Summarize the story in a letter to yourself. This is the letter of dear friend –unconditional, nonjudgmental, but truthful and clear. It is a succinct and unemotional look at the past 12 months and begins something like this:

Dear (Kate), Well, it has been quite a year. Look at all you have done. (list them)
I know that there have been some disappointments and some real challenges as well.(list those)

And that is the first part of this letter to yourself.

3. Then pull out the letters from of previous years. (I have 20 of them now.)

These begin with the ‘what happened in the year just wrapping up’ as you have just done for this year. Reading these, I see patterns, the slow tides of success, the ribbons of repeated struggles and get the wonderful Aha!s.

(Notice that? The year that is closing is like a present you are putting away to open another time.)

4. (This maybe your Step 3 if this year is the first time you are doing a New Year Box) Vision the next – 2012. This arises out of the immediate year past (2011) and the previous letters that  both looked back and forward. With that wisdom, I can vision the future. These are not resolutions. There are hopes, reminders, compassionate warnings, and big dreams.

Write this part of the story to yourself. It might go something like this:

Looking into 2012, I intend to make a trip back to Australia to see the family. I will overcome my anxiety and allow myself to develop and make available Personal Magic workshops. I will challenge myself to step out of the current inertia and run a half marathon. I will pay attention to my relationship with money.

 This the 2nd part of the letter to yourself.

5. Now, place into the box the letter and anything special from the year. This is usually – if I have done it – the Christmas/New Year letter I create with text/pictures to send out. Over the last few years, as my daughter has left home and we now live in different houses and States even, the import of getting out a chatty Christmas letter with its news and photos has diminished. Instead I am drawn to a more reflective letter that goes out in the limbo-Time-Between.

After you make the deposit, close the box and keep it in a safe place until you open it again next year.

A Word about the Box

This is most powerful if it is something that you have had had a hand in making.

Use a cardboard box that has a lid of some kind – not too small. (You know what will be going into it and hopefully it will last 20 years – mine has!)

Decorate it – colored paper, tissue, glue, scissors, stickers, glitter, ribbon, whatever to make it yours.

If this is your first New Year Box, take an evening or afternoon to make it before hand. That way, when you write your first letter to yourself, you have the perfect treasure chest ready on hand.

In my explorations of what it means to be truly empowered, resulting in the book about what I call Personal Magic, the importance of facing the truth of who you are in your various levels of Self is paramount. I particularly like Leigh’s reminder that we can sometimes be so focused on the means by which we cope, that we actually cover up the deeper truth that is the most difficult piece of what we are trying to manage!

Thank you for sharing this post here Leigh and for all your  offerings. This post in particular has given me something to truly contemplate as I prepare for 2012.

All spiritual and/or personal growth requires penetrating the outer mask and finding a way to go through the dark circle in order to reach the Diamond Heart or essence. Ultimately, of course, the basic point of all spiritual pursuit is to be able to live from that place of essence or from Buddha nature. The aspect of the journey that people most often want to sidestep is facing the dark circle where issues and negativity and unpleasantness dwell.

It is also possible to create a third circle around the outside of the other two. This happens when you meditate or do spiritual practice or stress management with a determination to avoid looking at the dark circle. You wind up creating this extra layer around your being that just traps the dark circle farther beneath the surface and actually takes you farther from the diamond in the center. I’ve met many people over the years who meditated or did some other practice regularly for decades but refused to allow their issues to arise into consciousness. To me they always feel as if they have a tough layer of laminate encasing them. I can feel the unresolved issues beneath.

I saw it in myself when Ellen introduced the concept. I’d been living with a roommate who mistreated me, my cats and my belongings. I taught stress management at the time and I found myself incessantly using those techniques. I succeeded in keeping myself calm in the midst of the madness but I really just created an outward facade of calm while pushing justifiable anger below the surface.

I spent the first five or six years of my journey by and large resistant to prolonged and serious inner work but the Fisher Hoffman process (as facilitated by Ellen – quite different from the process at the Hoffman Institute) not only opened me to deep and intensive work but convinced me that it has to be done in one way or another in order to progress. I don’t say everyone has to do Fisher Hoffman; I know many who have succeeded with Almaas’ work, I know people who have done very well with the more advanced levels of vipassana that start deconstructing thought and belief patterns and there are many more. Doesn’t matter what you pick, just decide to face the shadow.

ABOUT THE ART: My friend, Ann Wasserman (http://www.annquilts.com/ ), created the above quilt many years ago and with a personal story that I leave her to tell. I’ve always felt it portrayed the diamond heart idea even though it isn’t an exact replica of the chart.

(to see the art go to the original post.)

* I understand that this or a similar chart is also used in H. Almaas’ Diamond Heart work. I could never make it through more than a page or two of his writing so I can’t vouch for it. Almaas and Ellen were both students of Claudio Naranjo so it’s possible that the idea is something they both adopted from his work or that she picked it up from Almaas there.

http://www.ahalmaas.com/

http://hoffmaninstitute.org/

Related articles
Everyday Essence (joyofspa.com)
A. H. Almaas on Emptiness and The Void
(mettarefuge.wordpress.com)
Why are we here anyway? (bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com)

LEIGH GAITSKILL BIO
Leigh Gaitskill studied yoga for five years with Bill Hunt http://www.oakparkyoga.com/oakpark_yoga_instructors.html   and in 1988 earned a teaching certificate from the Temple of Kriya Yoga http://www.yogakriya.org/ Chicago.  During those years she was introduced to meditation and metaphysics by a transpersonal psychologist. In 1990 she went through the Nine Gates Mystery School (www.ninegates.org) program, then went on to study Huna, completed the Fisher Hoffman process, explored Buddhist practices and sat vipassana, and worked with Hopi elder Jeremie Jackson for two years.  She has taught classes on right speech, prosperity, and yoga.  She also has second degree Reiki and Amanohuna attunements.  She’s created movement classes that combine Robert Masters’ Psychophysical Method with yoga that are available for CE massage hours see her website (www.artofspiritandyoga.com).  Read about her journey on:  Bluegrass Notes (www.bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com)

Alternatively, there are the ‘problem’ people; not the ones who say ‘I don’t need anything,’ and mean it, but those for whom no gift is right and yet they seem to be wanting something. How do you handle that?

And how do we handle it when the gift we have carefully, chosen, made, found, bought, is rejected in some way by laughter, disbelief or lukewarm thanks?

When it comes to giving gifts, the first step is to CHOOSE to give it, not because you have to but because you want to. Then, address the reason you give the gift in the first place. Ask yourself, do you have something that you expect in return by giving the gift? Is it to win favor, to be appreciated? Or is it to simply give pleasure to another?

In the Personal Magic book I write:

Giving a welcome gift with an open heart and with no expectation of ‘reward’ brings its own reward – of goodness, of peace and of honorable power.

 Perhaps counter-intuitively, you are most empowered when you give, and the gifts that have the greatest capacity to stimulate empowerment are those that are created with courage and truth, offered as gifts with no expectation of reciprocity. A gift is only a gift if offered as such. When we place a condition or price on it, it becomes a ‘deal’ or a sale.

I also consider this question:

What if the gift is not appreciated or is ignored? If you have created it (*) from your personal place, creating your own magic, then it still has value.  The value is in the act of creation.

 (* this also applies to carefully selected presents that you have bought.)

 So, in this season of gift giving here are some basic steps to enjoy the giving of gifts.

1. Agree with yourself that gift giving is just that – something given freely without expectation of return, of any kind.

2. Accept that once you have given it away then you have no say in what happens to it or how it is received – indeed you have let it go.

3. Understand that generally a negative response from the person receiving the gift is not directed at you, but can arise from their own dis-empowerment.

(Have you noticed that truly empowered people are always delighted with their gifts and the most fearful or needy rarely are?)

4. Know that the real value of a gift is not in its $, but resides in the freedom with which it moves from one person to another.

5. Finally, as you may be receiving gifts, ask yourself, ‘How do I receive gifts? With an eye to what it means, how it stacks up to what I gave (or didn’t)? Or with an open heart and mind?’

Also acknowledge that when you empowered you will recognize when a gift is coming with a price or tag, and you will be able to avoid playing that game. It maybe that your best choice is to do so silently and perhaps at another time address that issue, but at least you will be able to quickly shed the ‘ickiness’ feeling of being ‘bought’. You will see that it is the dis-empowered person who tries to make those deals and you don’t have to join in!

This season, choose to be an Empowered person, steady in your own center, your worthiness independent of the power of others. Be one for whom the gifts that are freely given are a joy received. (Those with attachments are removed, with compassion, to their own place!) Be one who gives gifts freely and with joy.

In writing the book Personal Magic I asked, ‘What is a gift?’

I turned to those desk dictionaries for a brief look and found this: ‘natural endowment, talent, faculty miraculously bestowed’ (Oxford English Dictionary). And this: ‘the act or power of giving’ (Random House). ‘Miraculously bestowed….power of giving’. Well! 

Your Personal Magic, the uniqueness that is YOU, is your empowerment; the miracle of your being here is the gift with which you have arrived.

I also write this, and it is Very Important:

The act of creation is first and foremost a gift to and of yourself, and then you give away the ‘object’ or thought or love. Note: this is different from giving yourself away. You are the goose that lays the golden egg – keep yourself and give away the eggs!

So, enjoy this season that is associated with giving gifts, practice being a truly empowered giver and receiver. Carry that into 2012. Everyday is a day with gifts to give and receive, and everyday we have the opportunity to live our Personal Magic. That said, also remember to Have Fun!

I am interested in your stories of gifts given and received in which you were able to overcome the present splurge pitfalls! Write a comment below!

‘Prima Spira’ is the creation of a young woman at Prescott College. She took the roles of writer, choreographer, director and also both danced and sang in it. Lest she sound like an egomaniac, know that she also opened it to the group who assembled to bring the idea to the stage. Thus she was also collaborator, teacher, member of a team and a real person with fears, frustrations, hopes and vision.

The team that finally stuck over a period of 4-5 weeks of development, consisted of 8 dancers, a costumer, violinist, a hoop-dancer, an acrobat, lighting person, a little girl and me, 50+. All female.

The final scenes of the story brought  all the dancers onto the stage, slowly moving toward each other, under soft red-blue-yellow lights to some of the most beautiful music I have heard. As if we were underwater reeds, fish or sea nymphs, all from our different places on the stage, we moved, sleep-like, into one slowly falling, melding of soft bodies.

Lying on the floor, each of us on one and supporting another, our eyes closed, hearing the breath, feeling the rise and fall of oneself and another. Smelling the work of these bodies, aware of the pressure of hip-bone or foot, ribcage or thigh, the finger tips of a hand held lightly. Not knowing where one body begins, or another ends, even the boundaries of ones own shape blended to others.  It was perhaps the most non-sexual, sensual experience one could ever have. A oneness like no other.

Arising out of all the work and effort of the preceding weeks, culminating in only 2 public performances, we arrived at this perfect place in the journey unfolding on stage, and our journey with the creation and performance of it. We came together in a literal ONE for a minute or so of rest. When the final gentle, soft ‘a cappella’ song ended, our mass slowly awoke, stretching upward, separating and parting gently, beautifully waving out of the ground and slowly, almost footlessly, leaving the space.

Backstage the joy of the work/play achieved beamed from all faces and the final mad dance curtain call was the precisely perfect opposite and balance to the slow, soft end scenes of the story-dance we had just completed.

In an era where this sort of engagement is not the norm I was profoundly grateful to be a member of this ensemble. And beyond that, the depth of compassion, support, honesty and courage each and every member of this group lived was enormously encouraging. I did not hear any of the fabled ‘girl bitchiness’; I didn’t notice any prima donnas, nor experience any discrimination with these young women.

In my Book Personal Magic I write:

 ‘We live in an age where friends are found and made on the net, and many of our interactions, dialogue and socializing occurs through a medium that precludes direct human touch, sound and visuals. Personal Magic becomes more valuable as well as possibly more elusive.’

Remember, I define Personal Magic as:

‘Personal Magic is the uniqueness that you, and only you, bring into the world. It is the tangible expression of your connection through your Soul to the Great Spirit, Creator, Higher Power, God, whatever language you wish to use, by which we are all connected. It can be directly accessed through the creative endeavor.’

‘Prima Spira’, the performance, was a mirror-opposite to the digital experience. This group used their bodies – touch; worked with breath and sound; engaged minds and hearts in direct conversation to raise concerns and solve problems. Each person had to work through their own fears and doubts, in a piece of work that dove deeply into the depths of what it is to be human. Finally, we had to give that in real time to a live audience.

Dancers who really embody their characters’ intention and the needs, ultimately have to trust their creative instinct – that connection to something bigger than their bodies, deeper than their minds. It is that Spirit from which all the movement ultimately arises and moves through us. This performance gave each of us the opportunity to really Do and Feel that connection.

From the little girl to the lighting girl, the hoop-dancer to the extraordinary costumer who turned us into trees, mermaids, skeletons, mythological beings like Coyote, Kali and La Llorona and even the Scales of Justice. The violinist who improvised with the recorded sound, the woman who brought her makeup magic to augment the costumes – and this middle aged woman who had never danced like this in private, let alone in public.

And the dancers, the creator herself among us, changing in and out of costumes, silently backstage reminding each other of moves and counts, high-fiving and hugging. All of us brought our unique personal magic to the live performance and each of us were enhanced by sharing that – in real time, together, literally body to body.

May you find a living, breathing community with whom you can create, share and grow. You may not think of yourself as an artistic person, any more than I think of myself as a dancer. You may think you are too old or not old enough – try it anyway. Ultimately, allow yourself the joy of physical ‘here and now space’, interpersonal creativity and work and play. Dance with another – or a group of them!

(PS. the music is ‘The Night Knows Nothing at All’ by ‘Six Organs of Adventure’.)

I am honored to be in such illustrious company on his Guest Blogger list and welcome him in meeting those of you who read my blog posts.
(Be sure to click on the links to the utubes at the end!)

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The Lord is MY Shepherd

The last week, and the past few years, have been really tough on our family, and if you’ve been following the blog, you probably know what I’m talking about. My grandfather has Alzheimers, and it’s really hit me hard personally especially since I saw him on Thanksgiving, and I just wanted to share with all of you what’s been on my heart lately…

We had Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ (mom’s parents) house this year, like we normally do, and I had a great time seeing my aunts, uncles, granny and grandpa, but I noticed that my grandpa wasn’t acting right when we got ready to eat because he said he wasn’t hungry. It turns out that he wasn’t feeling good, and after everything he has been through the past few years I really can’t blame him. When we got ready to leave later Thursday evening, I went over to where grandpa was relaxing in his recliner and just held him for a few minutes. I sat there talking to him and told him how much I loved him, and if he needed anything to call us. While I was sitting there holding him and talking to him, the emotions just took over, and I started crying my eyes out and told my grandfather I loved him and didn’t want him to die. He said he didn’t want to say goodbye or have to make “a call.”

When he told me that, I started crying even more because I knew exactly what he meant. He doesn’t want to leave his family behind and have to say a final “goodbye” or have my grandmother make the most horrible phone call I think she ever will have to make. I thought about my grandfather all the way home and all that night. The next morning, I was talking to mom and I started crying AGAIN because I was telling her what my grandfather said. Then later Friday, or it might’ve been Saturday, my sisters were talking about Christmas and asked me when I was going to go shopping with them. Then I just broke down and lost all control…

I forget exactly what I said, but I remember I said something like, “Can’t we just skip shopping this year? Can’t we just go over and spend some time with grandpa and enjoy this Christmas? Doesn’t ANYBODY care about what I want???” Keep in mind I was frustrated and fighting back tears while saying this because I was and still AM heartbroken that my grandfather is slowly dying, and I’m having to just sit on the sidelines and watch.

Before I go any further, I want to back track and mention that I have always believed in God, and He has always, and I do mean ALWAYS, been there for me through a lot of sad times and a lot of great times. God has really lifted my family up the past few years, especially my mom’s family, having to deal with my granny’s diabetes and my grandpa’s Alzheimer’s, but lately I think my faith has been lacking in God’s ability to shelter us from Satan’s blows and attacks.

You see, sometimes I really have no idea what to pray for, or for that matter HOW to pray, and I just do not want to seem foolish or stupid to God. But yesterday morning, thanks to my very best friend and a dear co-worker, I now know I am never foolish in God’s eyes because He created me and He knew me before I was even born. I know my grandpa is going to heaven one sweet day to live side-by-side with our Heavenly Father, but lately I’ve been so caught up in my grandpa slowly dying that that’s all I can think about… Maybe I’m being selfish because I don’t want my grandpa to die and leave ME and his family, but I need to shift my focus to what waits for my grandpa on the other side. I know God already has a place for him in the middle of a beautiful meadow overlooking a valley or lake, with a new house where he will never be in any pain, won’t have to face the horrors and torment of a cruel world and can live forever rejoicing that he can remember who he is and who his family is. As I close, I am reminded of what Charles and Caroline Ingalls said when they found out their newborn son had just passed away….

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

And Vince Gill’s moving tribute to his brother, which is a great reminder to all of us who’ve lost a loved one that they have gone to heaven “a-shouting, love for the Father and the Son.”

Or Brooks and Dunn’s amazing reminder that “There’s more to life than just what I can see.”

Or Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill’s powerful, heart-warming proclamation: “My God, How GREAT Thou Art.”

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Jason is 29 years old and has been disabled since birth. Diagnosed with spina bifida, he has no feeling below the waist and can’t feel his legs. He graduated in Dec. 2006 from Kennesaw State University, about 20 minutes north of Atlanta, with a B.S. degree in communications. He works with the city of Marietta, Ga.’s, public information office, writing press releases and taking pictures for the city’s website, mariettaga.gov. He loves reading, writing and taking pictures in his spare time.

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