It has been a HUGE day of expansion for me today. I know that you have had them. I have had them before as well but that doesn’t seem to diminish the powerful effect of LEARNING in great chunks. (I am sure that I have done wonders for my brain and will have given myself a few extra years before the Alzheimer’s takes me. I could feel the dendrites spreading their little wings!)

I crossed chasms of ignorance, forged oceans of anxiety and I arrived at the green if thickly wooded regions of the backworkings of websites and blogs and twitters. Indeed I have been an explorer today.

I also read the first of Errol Morris’s NYT Opinionator 5-part series with the luscious title of The Anosognostic’s Dilemma. (If I knew how to do links I’d have that in but try: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/the-anosognosics-dilemma-1)

Essentially it is about knowing that you don’t know, or rather not even knowing that.  There are degrees of not knowing. There is the known unknown (I know I don’t know how to set a URL link) and then there are the unknown unknowns. That is all the stuff out in the digital media that I don’t even know there is to know. (Although I am beginning to suspect it is endless and so in a way I do sort of know that I don’t know.)

Throughout the article Mr. Morris is in conversation with David Dunning, a Cornell professor of social psychology, and at some point (I paraphrase) arrived at the thought that ignorance shapes our lives, and so in order to change/evolve we have to be willing to change, by adding to the list of knowing. This made absolute sense to me. I included as one of the objectives in the curriculum when I taught: ‘You will learn to tolerate ambiguity.’ (I will write about that one day – what a disservice we do our students when we don’t encourage them to accept not knowing, to embrace it as an opportunity to expand!)

I have long come to the conclusion that I might as well embrace the not knowing rather then letting it paralyze or humiliate me. It actually serves to arouse my curiosity and stimulates me to Find Out!

It seems that the greatest aspect of our lives that is under pressure to change and evolve is the human relationship to God or Spirit or whatever term you choose. Ultimately it is when we delve into Spirituality that we come face to face (or is it heart to heart?) with the greatest unknown of all. Organized religion fills in the space for those who know they don’t know. (They don’t have to sit in the anxiety of No Answers.) Then there are those who don’t even consider it at all. (Would they would be the anosognostics?) And then there are the others who sit fully in the Not Knowing, allowing the known unknown to resonate fully through them. (The mystics?)

I am hopeful that with all of us living with the great challenges today, (environmental, social and political institutions, personal wellbeing), enough of us will also sit, openly and with courage, with the knowing we don’t know. That enough of us will let it resonate through our deepest being. It is by letting go of needing to know that we fly/fall into wisdom.

Today I let go of needing to know, and let myself be led. There will be pieces I will forget, moments of absolute puzzlement as I stare at my notes. However, because I didn’t know and embraced that as an opportunity for a real adventure, I also had great revelations that were mine!! (Of course these are things you already know but for me it was the First Time!)

Life should be like that – a series of firsts, a personal connection to the knowing rather than packaged information  passed down. So, while I am not an anosognostic as far as I know (and there is the rub, if I am I don’t know!) I am surely enjoying being the explorer of my own life and relationship to everything that touches me, whether it be the wonders of the internet or the wonders of Spirit.

And you? Are you an explorer?

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